I'm wrong, you're right. I'm short, you're tall. I'm fat, you're thin. I'm ugly, you're beautiful.
(Metric - Wet Blanket)

Dear Ugly Boy,

I am sorry for my last post. I did not mean to be mean. I meant to be blunt. There's a difference I think. You are not the ugliest person I've ever met or seen. Hypothetically speaking though, even if you were, that gave me no right to be as blunt as I was. I am sometimes too unruly for my own good.

I am deeply sorry if I have bruised your self-esteem or hurt your feelings in any way. I hope you can forgive me.

Sincerely,
Shaky
...

Dear Mr. Karma,

I am sorry for my post about Ugly Boy, as you can see from the above. Everyone makes mistakes. I hope I have some bit of redeemable quality in me that would persuade you to ease up on the bad luck you have been giving me. I thought that the slight tweak of my left ankle at basketball on Tuesday was just coincidence but I realize now that in fact you were giving me a warning. I am not only mean but slow, so I hadn't noticed that signal. I know you gave me a second warning by turning on my car engine light Wednesday morning. I got that warning but I was too stubborn to do anything about it. I thought I'd "ride it out", the bad luck.

Spraining my right thumb at volleyball last night was a very malicious thing to do and I know I deserved every bit of it. If it makes you feel better my thumb is black and blue today and there's a good chance I will miss next week's game. After that happened I assumed that you were done with your little lesson since in Asian culture most things happen in 3's. I was wrong. I really didn't enjoy waking up at 3am to deal with a security issue at my workplace last night. How did you know I was on call?

I am waving a white flag as we speak. My intent was never to be mean or to challenge your will. I shall try and refrain from being a jackass in the future. Can we call it even and start all over? I really would like to be friends with you.

Sincerely,
Shaky